Update night
So, I'm caught in a conundrum...
I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. But at the same time, I haven't done a real, honest-to-God posting on here in four or five days, which goes against everything I hold dear.
So, a compromise. Tonight, a brief update on prior issues of concern.
PHU(h?)
Sad to say, Mr. 12 has been called up and is going off to go fight the war in Iraq. That's a bummer. But before he goes, besides getting hitched to his long-time maiden, he is also getting one last blast of the delicious fuh with JLowe and I.
This should be fun.
Now, in my last article I described the many delicious forms that phu can take. A basic noodle soup, it is flavored with yummy meats to take the taste you crave. Chicken, beef, tendon (animal not specified) and, as I've mentioned, the tasty pizzle. Not sure if I'm brave enough to eat pizzle, but at the same time pizzle may have to be done in honor of 12's glorious sacrifice on behalf of our country.
Hmm...maybe we should figure out, definitively, what "pizzle" is. One sec, here, while I look...
***keys clicking, mouse clicking, outburst of shock and dismay***
Never mind. NO time is a good time for pizzle. See for yourself...
Don't tell my PS2, but 12 is trying to sell me his X-box. In prior articles I've discussed my dalliance with the X-box a little. Mr. 12 got his from his lovely lady for Christmas, with game suggestions provided by yours truly. 12 got about three good months of gameplay out of the box before deciding to move on. So, he's offered me the joy of X-box with two games for only $100.
Good idea? Perhaps. Except for the consequences.
The Missus firmly believes in my right to play a video game now and again. She is not so firm in her support for me having multiple methods available to assist me in ignoring her pleas to help clean the house. So, for many a year now the rule has been that I could have a PS2 or an X-box, but not both.
She's relenting. But, there's a price.
Many years ago, I started forming a very secretive and private team of clothing. Only the elite were chosen. Shirts had to be at least 4 years old to qualify, and the nastier the underarm rings, the greater the appeal. This select group of clothes has (miraculously) survived three and a half years of marriage, but the end is at hand. Along with the comfy jeans with the hole that circles almost my entire knee joint (imagine with me, if you will, a burly Polish man wearing jeans where one leg is kept from being shorts length merely by the two tendons of seam on the inside and outside that hold the bottom of the pant leg on) and the shirt I originally bought so I could look more like Agassi while playing tennis (strangely, my game never improved...), my wife plans on destroying several shirts with various problems (no sleeves, neck ripped out, etc.) I have arranged amnesty for "sentimental items" (anything with my fraternity letters or college name on it) if, and only if, I hide them away where noone will ever see them. I can bring them out once a year and parade them around the home, with the shades drawn. My own private Festivus.
Such is the price of an X-box. $100 in cash, but priceless in sacrifice.
Speaking of phu and X-box, I also wrote about the tow truck company that single-handedly destroyed my credit. Well, finally I've cleared up the issue, and have qualified to buy a house. You're all invited to my house-warming party. Bring BIG presents.
Hit & Run
aka The Little Engine that Could
So tonight Hit & Run played game number 6 in our glorious campaign for domination. I think I've made it clear that Hit & Run sucks.
That's not false modesty. We truly blow.
But something strange has happened. Whereas, last time we had a team, we sucked more than the teams we played, this year we have proven to be almost-as-sucky-but-not-quite compared to our competition. That's right, Hit & Run has a winning record!
How winning, you ask? We are, after tonight's incomprehensible pounding of another group of living (and, therefore, theoretically superior) players, 4 and 2, with one game to play.
What's our secret? Well, I wish I could take all the credit. I did, after all, hit a homer and knock in 4 RBI's today. But our secret, in all seriousness, is PBR. That's right, Pabst Blue Ribbon. I've noticed that we do infinitely worse when the beer wench of the day brings Coor's Light or Kiri....er...Budweiser.
But, with sweet PBR, we are unstoppable.
Mind you, I didn't have any. I had responsibilities after the game tonight, and besides, my mom actually showed up and I had to have the appearance of responsibility. I've noticed that I hit the ball better when there's only one of them to swing at.
Thanks, mom.
BAD VIDEO
Last, but not least, I'm still trying to get my hands on the video of my youth to destro...er...copy it for posterity. Really, I'd like to copy it to my computer. Perhaps I'd post it here someday.
Apparently, my portion's not the most embarassing, though. There was a man in my fraternity who we called Sinestro, or The Senator. He was a real ass. According to Frodo Anderson, the keeper of the tape, Sinestro's section was the most horrible. Per Fro, The Senator was afraid of the contents of that tape. I didn't know why. We actually fast-forwarded past it because (a) Sinestro wasn't there, and (b) it seemed boring.
The following is an actual e-mail exchange beween Frodo and myself:
-----Original Message-----
From: Frodo
To: thepieman@earthlink.net
Subject: Blog-tastic
So you now have the Home Page and requisite Blog. Amusing. I have yet to bother.
Between this and Dusty's video I'm getting all sorts of insights into your character. Mwwwhahaha....
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pieman
To: Frodo
Subject: Re: Blog-tastic
you, my friend, are the devil.
-----Original Message-----
From: Frodo
To: The Pieman
Subject: RE: Blog-tastic
Just doing my job. It's good to like your work.
Thankfully unscreened at BLT's party, Sinestro's part on the video was scandal-tastic. He will serve me well.
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pieman
To: Frodo
Subject: RE: Blog-tastic
what did we not see? the really boring part?
-----Original Message-----
From: Frodo
To: The Pieman <thepieman@earthlink.net>
Subject: RE: Blog-tastic
The really boring part was Ray. Sinestro's interview was all about [girl's name here], the "three-way", ex-girlfriends, current girlfriends, and disclaimers of "This won't come out for twenty years right? It all makes me look like scum."
Frightening....
Anyhow, as I may have mentioned, I'm sleepy and must go to beddy-bye. However, two links to keep you warm tonight:
The new Batmobile
Remember the subservient chicken? Try this on for size
Have a good nite.
Catch ya later.
I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. But at the same time, I haven't done a real, honest-to-God posting on here in four or five days, which goes against everything I hold dear.
So, a compromise. Tonight, a brief update on prior issues of concern.
PHU(h?)
Sad to say, Mr. 12 has been called up and is going off to go fight the war in Iraq. That's a bummer. But before he goes, besides getting hitched to his long-time maiden, he is also getting one last blast of the delicious fuh with JLowe and I.
This should be fun.
Now, in my last article I described the many delicious forms that phu can take. A basic noodle soup, it is flavored with yummy meats to take the taste you crave. Chicken, beef, tendon (animal not specified) and, as I've mentioned, the tasty pizzle. Not sure if I'm brave enough to eat pizzle, but at the same time pizzle may have to be done in honor of 12's glorious sacrifice on behalf of our country.
Hmm...maybe we should figure out, definitively, what "pizzle" is. One sec, here, while I look...
***keys clicking, mouse clicking, outburst of shock and dismay***
Never mind. NO time is a good time for pizzle. See for yourself...
Don't tell my PS2, but 12 is trying to sell me his X-box. In prior articles I've discussed my dalliance with the X-box a little. Mr. 12 got his from his lovely lady for Christmas, with game suggestions provided by yours truly. 12 got about three good months of gameplay out of the box before deciding to move on. So, he's offered me the joy of X-box with two games for only $100.
Good idea? Perhaps. Except for the consequences.
The Missus firmly believes in my right to play a video game now and again. She is not so firm in her support for me having multiple methods available to assist me in ignoring her pleas to help clean the house. So, for many a year now the rule has been that I could have a PS2 or an X-box, but not both.
She's relenting. But, there's a price.
Many years ago, I started forming a very secretive and private team of clothing. Only the elite were chosen. Shirts had to be at least 4 years old to qualify, and the nastier the underarm rings, the greater the appeal. This select group of clothes has (miraculously) survived three and a half years of marriage, but the end is at hand. Along with the comfy jeans with the hole that circles almost my entire knee joint (imagine with me, if you will, a burly Polish man wearing jeans where one leg is kept from being shorts length merely by the two tendons of seam on the inside and outside that hold the bottom of the pant leg on) and the shirt I originally bought so I could look more like Agassi while playing tennis (strangely, my game never improved...), my wife plans on destroying several shirts with various problems (no sleeves, neck ripped out, etc.) I have arranged amnesty for "sentimental items" (anything with my fraternity letters or college name on it) if, and only if, I hide them away where noone will ever see them. I can bring them out once a year and parade them around the home, with the shades drawn. My own private Festivus.
Such is the price of an X-box. $100 in cash, but priceless in sacrifice.
Speaking of phu and X-box, I also wrote about the tow truck company that single-handedly destroyed my credit. Well, finally I've cleared up the issue, and have qualified to buy a house. You're all invited to my house-warming party. Bring BIG presents.
Hit & Run
aka The Little Engine that Could
So tonight Hit & Run played game number 6 in our glorious campaign for domination. I think I've made it clear that Hit & Run sucks.
That's not false modesty. We truly blow.
But something strange has happened. Whereas, last time we had a team, we sucked more than the teams we played, this year we have proven to be almost-as-sucky-but-not-quite compared to our competition. That's right, Hit & Run has a winning record!
How winning, you ask? We are, after tonight's incomprehensible pounding of another group of living (and, therefore, theoretically superior) players, 4 and 2, with one game to play.
What's our secret? Well, I wish I could take all the credit. I did, after all, hit a homer and knock in 4 RBI's today. But our secret, in all seriousness, is PBR. That's right, Pabst Blue Ribbon. I've noticed that we do infinitely worse when the beer wench of the day brings Coor's Light or Kiri....er...Budweiser.
But, with sweet PBR, we are unstoppable.
Mind you, I didn't have any. I had responsibilities after the game tonight, and besides, my mom actually showed up and I had to have the appearance of responsibility. I've noticed that I hit the ball better when there's only one of them to swing at.
Thanks, mom.
And, for the record, the only "duck's in the pond" tonight came from me. I need help.
BAD VIDEO
Last, but not least, I'm still trying to get my hands on the video of my youth to destro...er...copy it for posterity. Really, I'd like to copy it to my computer. Perhaps I'd post it here someday.
Apparently, my portion's not the most embarassing, though. There was a man in my fraternity who we called Sinestro, or The Senator. He was a real ass. According to Frodo Anderson, the keeper of the tape, Sinestro's section was the most horrible. Per Fro, The Senator was afraid of the contents of that tape. I didn't know why. We actually fast-forwarded past it because (a) Sinestro wasn't there, and (b) it seemed boring.
The following is an actual e-mail exchange beween Frodo and myself:
-----Original Message-----
From: Frodo
To: thepieman@earthlink.net
Subject: Blog-tastic
So you now have the Home Page and requisite Blog. Amusing. I have yet to bother.
Between this and Dusty's video I'm getting all sorts of insights into your character. Mwwwhahaha....
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pieman
To: Frodo
Subject: Re: Blog-tastic
you, my friend, are the devil.
-----Original Message-----
From: Frodo
To: The Pieman
Subject: RE: Blog-tastic
Just doing my job. It's good to like your work.
Thankfully unscreened at BLT's party, Sinestro's part on the video was scandal-tastic. He will serve me well.
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pieman
To: Frodo
Subject: RE: Blog-tastic
what did we not see? the really boring part?
-----Original Message-----
From: Frodo
To: The Pieman <thepieman@earthlink.net>
Subject: RE: Blog-tastic
The really boring part was Ray. Sinestro's interview was all about [girl's name here], the "three-way", ex-girlfriends, current girlfriends, and disclaimers of "This won't come out for twenty years right? It all makes me look like scum."
Frightening....
Anyhow, as I may have mentioned, I'm sleepy and must go to beddy-bye. However, two links to keep you warm tonight:
The new Batmobile
Remember the subservient chicken? Try this on for size
Have a good nite.
Catch ya later.
posted by Rusty at 11:44 PM
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