If you got tickets, I hate you unless you gimme one (or two)

Let me start this by saying I was warned.

That said, hi everybody. Already alot to talk about this weekend, and it isn't even half-way through.

Yesterday, while busily pounding away on my keyboard at work, my long-lost friend Ren (who I haven't seen forever but who reads me religiously) started shooting me e-mails. Luckily, I was close-enough to finished with my latest round of legalese that I was able to divide my attention enough to dialogue with her. The upshot was that, last night, she ended up coming over for a movie night with The Missus and me and, due to her excitement at the impending U2 sales event, she agreed to road-trip with me down to Salem to buy tickets for herself and her beloved, as everyone in my life had already bogued out on the 6:45 departure.

For movie night, Ren brought over two films. The first one we watched was Eulogy, a so-so comedy about a dysfunctional family re-uniting for the funeral of the family patriarch. There were a couple of laugh-out-loud moments, but on my comedy scale, this one is merely Not So Good. Which is not to say I didn't enjoy myself. I don't really have very high standards when the movie is free. The second film we almost watched was P.S., which we watched for 20 minutes and then entirely bored of. Absolutely not recommended.

So, after that my night came to an end, knowing I'd have to be up fairly early for my trek to my musical Mecca. I slept through my alarm, but woke up at 6:43 and, due to Ren's femininity, had time to use the bathroom, take my dog out, put on clothes, and gather most of my stuff before her arrival. We left, and our day of disappointment began.

The trip to Salem was pleasant enough. Having read alot of my material, Ren knows I like restaurants, and picked my brain on a few. She knows restaurants better than I do, from talkng to her, so I got an idea here and there for future consideration. When we got to Salem, I went to where GI Joe's was, only to find that the location whence came all previous U2 tickets had closed. I should have seen the writing on the wall then.

I got on the phone with JLowe, and instructed him that he was our contingency plan. Further, I asked him to find me the closest GI Joe's, and he directed me to the one on Lancaster in Salem (which I'd managed to forget about, having ceased my daily voyages to Salem three years ago).

So, off we went on a frantic quest for GI Joe's. When we got there, there was already a line of about 10 people, despite the fact that the tickets didn't go on sale for another hour and a half. I held this to be a second bad sign, and a third accompanied in the form of another one of those annoying pontificators pontificating about things and sounding loud (and dumb) in the process. Reminded me of jury duty.

Realizing that 1) I couldn't stand these people, 2) Ren's injured foot was bothering her as we stood there, and 3) if there were this many people here now (and more were approaching), it was certain we'd be subjected to a lottery and might lose big, I got on the line with JLowe, who was at the ready on-line, and instructed him our fate was in his hands. And then we left.

We got back to Portland just shy of 10am, and as soon as my clock hit that time I shot JLowe a text message for an instant status report on getting tickets. The Pontificating moron had said these shows sold out in 17 minutes usually, so I decided that a safe bet was 20-30. At 10:01, JLowe informed me that he was in the system, placed "in line" for 5 minutes, and would report back once success was achieved. And, based on that representation, I was sure it would be.

When I hadn't heard from JLowe by 10:35, I knew that, somehow, his ancient computer (or Ticketmaster's evil machines) had screwed him. I logged into Ticketmaster (I hadn't due to my slower connection, which in the past has made it hell to try to order anything because I always get timed-out) and, to my non-surprise, found that I was able to get in, seek the four tickets we'd been shopping four, and be soundly rejected. As an experiment, I tried selfishly to just find two (for JLowe and I) and was equally non-plussed at the response. I called JLowe, who was still on-line and clearly agitated, and explained our defeat. He curtly hung up, in a way that told me that he was probably taking it harder than me.

Lessons learned?

1. If you're going to take the time to drive to Salem and get in line, stay there, even if your friend's foot hurts and stupid people abound.
2. Listen to the friends who say you can't trust Ticketmaster.com, and not Joe, who not only thinks that Harold & Kumar is the best movie ever, but who was also too lazy to get out of bed to try to buy tickets using his old, afore-mentioned, "tried and true" Ticketmaster.com.
3. Never, ever be the bearer of bad tidings to JLowe.

So, what now? Well, I'm hoping that someone out there will see this, realize I got screwed by the system, and when December rolls around and their trying to take a last-minute Christmast trip, will offer me the tickets at face-value (with a minor interest rate, I guess) out of sheer sympathy and kindness.

Until then, since the concert was to be my wife's birthday present to me, she is now on the hook for something else that I'd like (like Napoleon Dynamite or a head-shave and scalp massage at Hair M).

When life gives you lemons...

Catch ya later.

P.S. (no pun intended): Hannah finally updated her blog with a funny little story involving not painting all your toenails. I can't sympathize, buy maybe some of you can...