Harold & Kumar (aka Mea Culpa, Joe)

So, as I announced last week, Joe came up to visit. Joe is many things, but a trustworthy movie critic is not one of them (note: some would say the same of me; I loved The Anchorman, but most people I’ve forced to watch it didn’t think it was nearly as funny as, say, Schindler’s List…)

Back in August, Joe sent me an e-mail declaring Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle to be one of the greatest cinematic triumphs in history. In keeping with my traditional sarcasm, I skewered his opinion on my blog, and it took him until February to actually figure out that he was the friend that sent me the e-mail I blasted.

Once he did figure out that I’d publicly quashed him, he was irate. He sent me a series of e-mails telling me how irresponsible it is for someone to cap on someone’s opinion without researching it. And, I think, he was serious.

“Fine,” I said, “bring Harold & Kumar with you when you come visit, and if I like it, I’ll apologize to you publicly.”

Joe, of course, waited with eager anticipation for me to eat crow. He flew up last Thursday, but already before that we had planned around H&K, making it the center of Saturday night’s activities.

So, the night came, and we watched.

And I liked it.

In the theatrical trailers, all I could see was that the movie involved two non-white guys trying to go to White Castle and get in hijinx along the way. Didn’t seem very compelling.

But little did I know about the underlying drug use in the film. Face it, whenever you get people using drugs, funny things happen. Just look at Dazed & Confused, History of the World Part I (remember “Mighty Joint”?), and Dude, Where’s My Car (which was stupid, but in a good way). In H&K, our heroes get baked, and decide to trek to the nearest White Castle to satisfy their chronic-induced munchies. With the combination of a search for a sacred item and antics surrounding getting ripped and trying to get ripped some more, how could you go wrong?

Not to say that it was the theatrical triumph that Joe described. But it was pretty good.

Maybe I should give you a scale to discern what “pretty good” means to me. Given my love of The Anchorman, and the public’s disdain for my love of it, a scale to gauge my tastes is fair to inform you of what my opinion’s worth.

Freakin’ Hilarious: Monty Python’s Holy Grail; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; Napoleon Dynamite

Very Good: The Sandler Trilogy (Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, and Mr. Deeds); The Anchorman; Animal House; Elf; The Focker films (Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers); Tommy Boy; Dumb & Dumber; National Lampoon’s Vacation; American Pie; The Jerk; The Kevin Smith Trilogy (Clerks, Mallrats, and Jay & Silent Bob)

Good: Van Wilder; Dodgeball; Weird Science; The Blues Brothers; Bruce Almighty; Old School (borders on Very Good); National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation; The Grumpy Old Men movies; The Big Lebowski; Sixteen Candles

Pretty Good: The Sandler Also-rans (The Waterboy, The Wedding Singer, Anger Management); PCU; Zoolander; EuroTrip; Road Trip; American Pie II; Foul Play; Intolerable Cruelty; Not Another Teen Movie; Scary Movie; The Breakfast Club

Not-so Good: Starsky & Hutch; Black Sheep (aka Farley and Spade try to do it again); Beetlejuice; American Wedding; Major Payne; Chasing Amy; Scary Movie 2; Can't Hardly Wait

Sucked: The Sandler lapses (Going Overboard, Little Nicky; Bullet Proof); The Goldberg debacles (aka Sister Acts I & II); National Lampoon’s European Vacation; All Cannonball Run films and most of the Smokey and the Bandit ones.

So, Joe, my apologies. H&K was a good movie.

Hannah’s Joke o’ the Day
I’m trying to get Hannah to take ownership over her funny e-mail jokes by posting them, but she hasn’t yet, and I thought this was too funny to pass up.

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After carefulc onsideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: "MOUNT & DO."

Catch ya later.