A note to Uncle Sam

Damn you, old man. You've beaten me again.

How do you always do it? Every year, I try to be clever enough to figure out how to stay ahead of you, and yet you are so much smarter it makes me sick.

First I deducted the student loan interest. But you started giving me less bang for those bucks.

Then, I bought a house. You scoffed at my attempts to benefit from that investment.

Finally, I appealed with all the various local taxes I'm paying. County income tax, property tax. Surely, with all of these tools, I should have vanquished you.

But you had that evil ace, the alternative minimum tax, up your sleeve.

So, Sam, piss off. I've given you your pound of flesh. Now leave me alone 'til next year.

Oregon, same to you, but less of it.

And, Diane, since your system failed to acknowledge my dim-witted schemes at manipulating withholding to try to break even (a miserable failure, for sure), you'd better pay up. I have a family to feed...