Eve Leave
So, as I work of the public and am therefore immune to such perks as Christmas bonuses or stock options or what-not, one of the few perks that I'm offered is something callled "Eve Leave".
The way it works, at least here in Multnomah County, is that you are given a personal holiday to use anytime between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
Usually, this is quite the boon, because when Christmas is on, say, Friday, you can work yourself into a four-day weekend to which you wouldn't otherwise be entitled by using your Eve Leave on the greatest Eve of all, which is Christmas Eve.
This year's odd, though. Christmas, and New Year's Day, both fall on a weekend, which means that they are both being observed on their Eves. So, instead of using my Eve Leave to get Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve off, the government's already dealt with that problem.
What to do?
Well, in my case, I'm celebrating Christmas Eve Eve, by taking my Eve Leave tomorrow.
Joy of joys! Whatever can a growing boy do with so much free time on his hands?
I'm pleased to report that, as of this evening, I am no longer in need of shopping for gifts. In fact, all that is left for me to do to prepare for Christmas is to wrap the iPod mini, whenever it gets here (it's been promised by Christmas Eve at 10:30 am and, per Fed Ex, left Anchorage AK today at 4:09 pm for the final leg of its journey) and to pray that the last minute super surprise gift that my wife will die to have shows up in time. Since I just bought it off E-Bay today, it's not likely, but where would be be if we didn't pull for the occasional Christmas miracle?
So, I will spend tomorrow doing what every young married buck does when they get a day off.
I will clean my house.
Horror of horrors! Can this be true?
Yes. My day is jam-packed with fun. I will arise, pop my half-pill of pleasure, and then visit my doctor. After being told that my pills seem to be working, and being asked not to drool so much, I will make my way home to clean up my guest room (Santa's got a little surprise in store for someone who most likely doesn't know about this blog, but you can't ever be too sure), then I'll mix in a video game, then I'll eat some disgusting low-carb yogurt, then I'll clean the living room, then I'll do some work I brought home out of a mixture of guilt and the knowledge that if I don't do it, I'll feel jammed next week. Then I'll clean the kitchen. I might play another video game in there. Who knows? Kinda like Frank the Tank said in Old School, when describing his exciting day of shopping at Home Depot and Linens 'n' Things, I may not have enough time. There's just so much to do.
After making that statement, Frank got busy with a beer bong. No such fun in my day: Xanax doesn't mix well with even low-grade beers like Hamm's, so I'll be sipping at my low-carb, sodium free fizzy water as I toil.
By the way, it has really surprised me how many people I've talked to have dealt with some sort of chest-type issue similar to mine. Today, one of the lawyers in my office described nearly identical symptoms, and said his was stress-related as well, and that it just (eventually) went away. Here's hoping that I've got what he had (unless he had something really, really bad that's just hiding under the bed, waiting to jump out and grab him, in which case I wish him something better).
Finally, and probably most importantly, a police officer in Gresham e-mailed me a freakin' hilarious video (about 1 meg big) reminiscent of one of those old Rudolph claymation-type things, only it involves Santa having a run-in with the COPS crew. I forwarded it to Jack and Jake, but neither's elected to post it. If you'd be interested in seeing it, and perhaps hosting it on your space (I don't have any of my own, or if I do I don't know how to use it), shoot me at e-mail at piemans.leblogue@gmail.com and I'll send it your way. It's truly worth seeing.
Anyway, Happy Christmas Eve Eve Eve.
Catch ya later.
The way it works, at least here in Multnomah County, is that you are given a personal holiday to use anytime between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
Usually, this is quite the boon, because when Christmas is on, say, Friday, you can work yourself into a four-day weekend to which you wouldn't otherwise be entitled by using your Eve Leave on the greatest Eve of all, which is Christmas Eve.
This year's odd, though. Christmas, and New Year's Day, both fall on a weekend, which means that they are both being observed on their Eves. So, instead of using my Eve Leave to get Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve off, the government's already dealt with that problem.
What to do?
Well, in my case, I'm celebrating Christmas Eve Eve, by taking my Eve Leave tomorrow.
Joy of joys! Whatever can a growing boy do with so much free time on his hands?
I'm pleased to report that, as of this evening, I am no longer in need of shopping for gifts. In fact, all that is left for me to do to prepare for Christmas is to wrap the iPod mini, whenever it gets here (it's been promised by Christmas Eve at 10:30 am and, per Fed Ex, left Anchorage AK today at 4:09 pm for the final leg of its journey) and to pray that the last minute super surprise gift that my wife will die to have shows up in time. Since I just bought it off E-Bay today, it's not likely, but where would be be if we didn't pull for the occasional Christmas miracle?
So, I will spend tomorrow doing what every young married buck does when they get a day off.
I will clean my house.
Horror of horrors! Can this be true?
Yes. My day is jam-packed with fun. I will arise, pop my half-pill of pleasure, and then visit my doctor. After being told that my pills seem to be working, and being asked not to drool so much, I will make my way home to clean up my guest room (Santa's got a little surprise in store for someone who most likely doesn't know about this blog, but you can't ever be too sure), then I'll mix in a video game, then I'll eat some disgusting low-carb yogurt, then I'll clean the living room, then I'll do some work I brought home out of a mixture of guilt and the knowledge that if I don't do it, I'll feel jammed next week. Then I'll clean the kitchen. I might play another video game in there. Who knows? Kinda like Frank the Tank said in Old School, when describing his exciting day of shopping at Home Depot and Linens 'n' Things, I may not have enough time. There's just so much to do.
After making that statement, Frank got busy with a beer bong. No such fun in my day: Xanax doesn't mix well with even low-grade beers like Hamm's, so I'll be sipping at my low-carb, sodium free fizzy water as I toil.
By the way, it has really surprised me how many people I've talked to have dealt with some sort of chest-type issue similar to mine. Today, one of the lawyers in my office described nearly identical symptoms, and said his was stress-related as well, and that it just (eventually) went away. Here's hoping that I've got what he had (unless he had something really, really bad that's just hiding under the bed, waiting to jump out and grab him, in which case I wish him something better).
Finally, and probably most importantly, a police officer in Gresham e-mailed me a freakin' hilarious video (about 1 meg big) reminiscent of one of those old Rudolph claymation-type things, only it involves Santa having a run-in with the COPS crew. I forwarded it to Jack and Jake, but neither's elected to post it. If you'd be interested in seeing it, and perhaps hosting it on your space (I don't have any of my own, or if I do I don't know how to use it), shoot me at e-mail at piemans.leblogue@gmail.com and I'll send it your way. It's truly worth seeing.
Anyway, Happy Christmas Eve Eve Eve.
Catch ya later.
posted by Rusty at 6:36 PM
5 Comments:
Pie, it was quite funny, but it looked like it belonged to somebody corporate, and I'm trying to clean up my act on the ole intellectual property. Merry Christmas Eve Eve...
You are such a good hubby--cleaning the house on your day off! This was all your own idea, too?
I'm taking the day off today too (woooo hoooo!), but the Comet Cleanser and I don't have any plans.
Truth be told, it was my own idea. Of course, I'm carrying a fair amount of guilt over not being so productive over the past couple of weeks, and it's sort of a gift for The Missus, who's stuck working 'til 9:30 tonight.
Have fun with your chores!
By chores, I mean whatever last-minute stuff pops up (it's always lurking somewhere...)
Too true, I ended up at both Powell's and Fred Meyer yesterday (trying to return that ding-dong cat calendar--neither carried it, so I am freecycling it). It seems it's impossible to escape the shopping vortex.
You're feeling guilty because you didn't pull your weight while you were sick? Cleaning the house is a nice gesture and I'm sure your wife appreciated it, but I'm also sure she wasn't harboring any resentment that you weren't Cometing out the tub during those days you thought you might drop dead.
Have a nice relaxing Christmas!
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