Babblin' Brook(e)
This post is dedicated to an attorney I once knew who had a knack for not knowing when to shut up. His name was Brooke. He babbled. Hence his nickname.
In today’s post, I intend to ramble. Movies, weather, pets…nothing is sacred. Today, I will be the babbler. Today, I will not be able to shut up.
MOVIES
It’s been an intense week of movie viewing for me. Mostly rentals or newly purchased films, but also one that’s new in theaters. Lucky you, you get a quick review of each.
The Bourne Supremacy
For anyone that’s read this blog(ue) for any length of time may know, I saw The Bourne Supremacy last summer, shortly before the Tour de France was finished. I remember that for a couple of reasons. 1) It was freakin’ hot out, and we went to theater to get out of heat, only to find that the A/C was out, and 2) while waiting in line, I became jealous of everyone’s pretty yellow “Livestrong” bracelets.
Anyway, due to the whole weather bit, I only mentioned that I thought The Bourne Supremacy was a pretty good flick, but provided no further insight.
The Bourne Supremacy picks up two years after The Bourne Identity ends, with Bourne and his annoying girlfriend shacked up in India, inexplicably drinking water from the tap and living a life of luxury as they hope that Jason’s past won’t catch up to them. Within 10 minutes, the girlfriend is (thankfully) dead (the first movie was seriously affected by attempts to force chemistry between Matt Damon and the chick who played Marie), and within 15 minutes Bourne has started to kick some ass. This movie is both less than and more than the first film. Less drama surrounding the question of “will Bourne find out who he is?” and more action. In many ways I found this movie superior, but if pressed I’d have to admit that it was only, in sum, about as good as the original.
The Ring Two
Yes, I caved and went to see this film. I was a big fan of the first Ring, which I thought was a good little fright-fest. Hoping to see something at least vaguely similar, I went to see The Grudge and was in many ways disappointed (although that kid with the cat scream still freaks me out). So, when I saw the opportunity to see R2, I jumped on it.
R2 appears to follow very closely in time to the storyline in R1, with Naomi Watts and her spooky little kid having uprooted themselves from Seattle and moved to lovely Astoria, Oregon to try to start over (and to escape the effects of the videotape they made to save her son’s life).
Only, the tape beat her to Astoria, and soon enough she’s again battling to save her son’s life from Samara, the little girl who never says die. Since this movie is new, I don’t want to spoil anything for you. I will say it was lesser than the first film, but better than the critics would have you believe. Definitely makes a good matinee, because you never feel guilty if you didn’t pay full price.
Shaun of the Dead
Got this one from Netflix, and convinced JLowe to watch it with me over steaming hot helpings of Cannon’s Brisket. This movie is sort of a zombie-film farce following a loveable loser around as he slowly realizes the world around him is getting zombified, then he fights to save his mother and the woman he loves (and a few tag-alongs) from becoming undead themselves. Entertaining film. Silly fun.
Addicted to Love
My wife rented this classic, starring Matthew Broderick and Meg Ryan (before I decided she was evil and before she decided to screw her face up with plastic surgery and botox) starring as two forlorn dumpees trying to exact revenge on their ex-mates, Broderick in hopes of forcing Kelly Preston back into his arms (and, really, that is a worthy goal in my book), and Ryan with the goal of tearing away every shred of dignity her Frenchy former fiancée ever had. In the process, they end up deciding “screw those other people, let’s just shack up and live happily ever after.” But not before some devious hijinx. Great film to watch with your spouse if nothing else is on and you have it sitting around. Seriously, Matthew Broderick can almost do no wrong (no, I will not admit that Inspector Gadget or Godzilla ever happened).
Collateral
I refused to see this movie in theaters, but did decide I should rent it just to check it out. I was surprised at how good it was. No description; go rent it yourself.
WEATHER
Really, nothing here to add I haven’t already written over on the Portland Metroblog. Go check it out (link to the right).
PETS
My dog is the bane of my existence this week. Which is not to say I don’t love her. I do. She’s just a pain in the keister.
This all started Tuesday when my dog had a vet appointment. I’d been hoping to adjust my lunch hour so that I could take her in, but I ended up getting stuck in my office, so my wife had to do it herself. Which is all well and good, except that Ollie doesn’t exactly listen so much when The Missus is trying to talk to her.
So, about 11:15 on Monday, I got a tearful call from The Missus decrying the foul behavior of our dog and demanding action, or the dog would have to find a new home.
So, now, I’m working on the prospect of dog classes. Pets, it appears, aren’t cheap. Feh.
Plus, how many baths does a dog need? I swear, she’s the smelliest dog in the world. In her defense, she’s currently getting de-mited, so she’s having some short-term skin problems. But, geez, at this point she’s requiring weekly baths, and that’s just not so fun. We’re hoping that we can avoid heat, because they won’t spay her until the mites are gone. Here’s keeping our fingers crossed…
THE ONGOING BBQ BRAWL
So, as I mentioned, I had Cannon’s (link to right) brisket last night. This was my second go-round with Cannon’s, where you can only get brisket if you show up early.
My first batch of brisket was good, but not that good. I had higher hopes for this batch, as it was earlier in the evening (6pm) and it was cold and raining, which seems to slow down foot traffic.
Verdict? Big Daddy’s, my favorite BBQ joint in town, still wins on brisket (hands down), and Campbell’s is superior as well. I will tell you that for ribs, Cannon’s is the best I’ve had yet. I just prefer brisket.
FUNNY CRAP
A few funny bits:
Easter Greetings
Too much of a good thing?
The truth about men:
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys, cumin is a spice and not a bodily function.)
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, or hockey. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand Men.
Ghetto Barbie
Got this bit from a cop I know:
Why Cops Harass people
Recently, California ran an e-mail forum (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being "Community Policing".
One of the civilian e-mail participants posed the following question: "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"
From the "other side" (the law enforcement side) a cool cop with a sense of humor replied: "It is not easy. In California we average one cop for every 2000 people. About 60% of those cops are on patrol, where we do most of the harassing. One-fifth of that 60% are on duty at any moment and available for harassing people. So, one cop is responsible for harassing about 10,000 residents. When you toss in the commercial, business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 20,000 or more people a day. A ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds. This gives a cop one-second to harass a person, and three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task.
"Most cops are not up to it day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those, which we harass. They are as follows:
"PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. 'My neighbor is beating his wife' is a code phrase we use. Then we come out and give special harassment. Another popular one on a weeknight is, 'The kids next door are having a party.'
"CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars blasting music, cars with expired registration stickers and the like. It is lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, are drunk, or have a warrant.
"RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.
"CODES: When you can think of nothing else to do, there are books that give ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called 'Codes'; Penal, Vehicle, Health and Safety, Business and Professions... They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people. After you read the code, you can just drive around for a while until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy smash a car window. Well, the code says that is not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a pretty cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well. I seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass.
And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we keep the streets safe for them. Next time you are in my town, give me a single finger wave. That is a signal that you wish for me to take a little closer look at you, and maybe I'll find areason to harass YOU.
That’s all, kids.
Catch ya later.
In today’s post, I intend to ramble. Movies, weather, pets…nothing is sacred. Today, I will be the babbler. Today, I will not be able to shut up.
MOVIES
It’s been an intense week of movie viewing for me. Mostly rentals or newly purchased films, but also one that’s new in theaters. Lucky you, you get a quick review of each.
The Bourne Supremacy
For anyone that’s read this blog(ue) for any length of time may know, I saw The Bourne Supremacy last summer, shortly before the Tour de France was finished. I remember that for a couple of reasons. 1) It was freakin’ hot out, and we went to theater to get out of heat, only to find that the A/C was out, and 2) while waiting in line, I became jealous of everyone’s pretty yellow “Livestrong” bracelets.
Anyway, due to the whole weather bit, I only mentioned that I thought The Bourne Supremacy was a pretty good flick, but provided no further insight.
The Bourne Supremacy picks up two years after The Bourne Identity ends, with Bourne and his annoying girlfriend shacked up in India, inexplicably drinking water from the tap and living a life of luxury as they hope that Jason’s past won’t catch up to them. Within 10 minutes, the girlfriend is (thankfully) dead (the first movie was seriously affected by attempts to force chemistry between Matt Damon and the chick who played Marie), and within 15 minutes Bourne has started to kick some ass. This movie is both less than and more than the first film. Less drama surrounding the question of “will Bourne find out who he is?” and more action. In many ways I found this movie superior, but if pressed I’d have to admit that it was only, in sum, about as good as the original.
The Ring Two
Yes, I caved and went to see this film. I was a big fan of the first Ring, which I thought was a good little fright-fest. Hoping to see something at least vaguely similar, I went to see The Grudge and was in many ways disappointed (although that kid with the cat scream still freaks me out). So, when I saw the opportunity to see R2, I jumped on it.
R2 appears to follow very closely in time to the storyline in R1, with Naomi Watts and her spooky little kid having uprooted themselves from Seattle and moved to lovely Astoria, Oregon to try to start over (and to escape the effects of the videotape they made to save her son’s life).
Only, the tape beat her to Astoria, and soon enough she’s again battling to save her son’s life from Samara, the little girl who never says die. Since this movie is new, I don’t want to spoil anything for you. I will say it was lesser than the first film, but better than the critics would have you believe. Definitely makes a good matinee, because you never feel guilty if you didn’t pay full price.
Shaun of the Dead
Got this one from Netflix, and convinced JLowe to watch it with me over steaming hot helpings of Cannon’s Brisket. This movie is sort of a zombie-film farce following a loveable loser around as he slowly realizes the world around him is getting zombified, then he fights to save his mother and the woman he loves (and a few tag-alongs) from becoming undead themselves. Entertaining film. Silly fun.
Addicted to Love
My wife rented this classic, starring Matthew Broderick and Meg Ryan (before I decided she was evil and before she decided to screw her face up with plastic surgery and botox) starring as two forlorn dumpees trying to exact revenge on their ex-mates, Broderick in hopes of forcing Kelly Preston back into his arms (and, really, that is a worthy goal in my book), and Ryan with the goal of tearing away every shred of dignity her Frenchy former fiancée ever had. In the process, they end up deciding “screw those other people, let’s just shack up and live happily ever after.” But not before some devious hijinx. Great film to watch with your spouse if nothing else is on and you have it sitting around. Seriously, Matthew Broderick can almost do no wrong (no, I will not admit that Inspector Gadget or Godzilla ever happened).
Collateral
I refused to see this movie in theaters, but did decide I should rent it just to check it out. I was surprised at how good it was. No description; go rent it yourself.
WEATHER
Really, nothing here to add I haven’t already written over on the Portland Metroblog. Go check it out (link to the right).
PETS
My dog is the bane of my existence this week. Which is not to say I don’t love her. I do. She’s just a pain in the keister.
This all started Tuesday when my dog had a vet appointment. I’d been hoping to adjust my lunch hour so that I could take her in, but I ended up getting stuck in my office, so my wife had to do it herself. Which is all well and good, except that Ollie doesn’t exactly listen so much when The Missus is trying to talk to her.
So, about 11:15 on Monday, I got a tearful call from The Missus decrying the foul behavior of our dog and demanding action, or the dog would have to find a new home.
So, now, I’m working on the prospect of dog classes. Pets, it appears, aren’t cheap. Feh.
Plus, how many baths does a dog need? I swear, she’s the smelliest dog in the world. In her defense, she’s currently getting de-mited, so she’s having some short-term skin problems. But, geez, at this point she’s requiring weekly baths, and that’s just not so fun. We’re hoping that we can avoid heat, because they won’t spay her until the mites are gone. Here’s keeping our fingers crossed…
THE ONGOING BBQ BRAWL
So, as I mentioned, I had Cannon’s (link to right) brisket last night. This was my second go-round with Cannon’s, where you can only get brisket if you show up early.
My first batch of brisket was good, but not that good. I had higher hopes for this batch, as it was earlier in the evening (6pm) and it was cold and raining, which seems to slow down foot traffic.
Verdict? Big Daddy’s, my favorite BBQ joint in town, still wins on brisket (hands down), and Campbell’s is superior as well. I will tell you that for ribs, Cannon’s is the best I’ve had yet. I just prefer brisket.
FUNNY CRAP
A few funny bits:
Easter Greetings
Too much of a good thing?
The truth about men:
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys, cumin is a spice and not a bodily function.)
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, or hockey. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand Men.
Ghetto Barbie
Got this bit from a cop I know:
Why Cops Harass people
Recently, California ran an e-mail forum (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being "Community Policing".
One of the civilian e-mail participants posed the following question: "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"
From the "other side" (the law enforcement side) a cool cop with a sense of humor replied: "It is not easy. In California we average one cop for every 2000 people. About 60% of those cops are on patrol, where we do most of the harassing. One-fifth of that 60% are on duty at any moment and available for harassing people. So, one cop is responsible for harassing about 10,000 residents. When you toss in the commercial, business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 20,000 or more people a day. A ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds. This gives a cop one-second to harass a person, and three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task.
"Most cops are not up to it day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those, which we harass. They are as follows:
"PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. 'My neighbor is beating his wife' is a code phrase we use. Then we come out and give special harassment. Another popular one on a weeknight is, 'The kids next door are having a party.'
"CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars blasting music, cars with expired registration stickers and the like. It is lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, are drunk, or have a warrant.
"RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.
"CODES: When you can think of nothing else to do, there are books that give ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called 'Codes'; Penal, Vehicle, Health and Safety, Business and Professions... They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people. After you read the code, you can just drive around for a while until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy smash a car window. Well, the code says that is not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a pretty cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well. I seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass.
And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we keep the streets safe for them. Next time you are in my town, give me a single finger wave. That is a signal that you wish for me to take a little closer look at you, and maybe I'll find areason to harass YOU.
That’s all, kids.
Catch ya later.
posted by Rusty at 12:05 PM
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